Movie Review: Beautiful Creatures (AKA Beautiful Disaster)

Posted October 3, 2014 by Sophia
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beautiful creatures movie review

I feel like I need to get my graphics on. My movie reviews look so bland on the home page with no banner or anything. Edit in 2020: Look, we’re finally getting around to it! Um… years later.

I promise I’m in the process of making one. But… I have school. Essays (yay, literature! Sarcasm intended a bit.), Chemistry Science Fair (um… papers galore? And more essays), and the attempt to get an A in College Algebra. JUST so I could start college with a 4.0 GPA (currently with a fabulous B). Then I have Chess Club and possibly Scholar Bowl. I’m also extremely behind on comments.

My name is Sophia Lin and I’m a totally peachy Junior. (I so approve that message.)

Anyways…

Beautiful Creatures

Oh boy. This is a Beautiful Disaster. A very beautiful disaster.

Let me start with the actors. Alden Ehrenreich looks too old to be playing a 15-16 year old. If I didn’t read the book I would have thought Ethan Wate is well… 20? That’s a 4 year jump from the book! His singing is also terrible enough to make me run under my blankets for cover – it was that bad. *cringe* In all honesty, it sounded like gibberish even with closed captioning, as though he didn’t know the lyrics. Or more accurately, as though he were an extremely amateur rock star jamming to a guitar uh, steering wheel.

nervous

 

No wonder my choir teacher tells us to sound “British” when it comes to singing.

Alice Englert really does look like “death eating a cracker” as Emily Asher (Zoey Deutch) says when she makes her first entrance as Lena Duchannes. I pretty much get used to her look later, so death eating a cracker isn’t too bothersome… Thing is, has Emily even seen death before? I mean, I imagine death as someone pale hidden under some hood – hahaha, Grimm Reaper – but unless you’re dead, you pretty much never see death. I do sort of get that it’s to show how mean Emily is… but I’m sure the director could have come up with something better than death simply eating a cracker. Death does NOT eat a cracker. It eats souls. I think.

Then there’s the blast to the past. It was… no. Just… NO. They have it all wrong if I remember correctly. Ethan Carter gets shot, Genevieve revives him but he doesn’t turn evil like the book says. Genevieve turns vampiric and just kills him instead! Doesn’t he turn into some sort of evil spawn which results in Genevieve killing him? >_< And why vampiric eyes? I’m a bit done with vampires. :p

vamoose supernatural

There’s also Ethan’s death. The best part of the book was when Serafine killed him (I am not an evil spawn). Who killed him in the movie? Certainly not Serafine. Completely disappointing. Sure, it might be as violent as Ed’s eye getting poked out by a knife thanks to Peter in Divergent but while I sound like a toddler, can they at least let Serafine do the honors and not someone else? :/

Just because I didn’t finish the book doesn’t mean I didn’t skim to know details.

I think I only like a few parts to the movie, which only made it bearable, but not liked. Macon (Jeremy Irons) is perhaps my favorite – in the books I like another character, but I forgot who it was. Certainly not Ethan or Lena, I can assure you. Amma (Viola Davis), Link (Thomas Mann), and Riley (Emmy Rossum) were okay, but not exactly my favorites. I would actually like the librarian – Marian? – to be in the movie, but I suppose Amma would work instead. -_-

Half the time I wonder if a movie would be more successful if it simply followed the book – it wouldn’t be as confusing to those who watch the movie first and then read the book later.

Beautiful Creatures sucked as much as the book, and it lands as one of the worst movies I’ve ever watched. Not that there’s much.

i think we're done here

Sophia started blogging in February 2012 for the hell of it and is surprisingly still around. She has a GIF for nearly everything, probably listens to too much K-Pop and is generally in an existential crisis of sorts (she's trying her best). In 2020, she graduated with a Bachelor's in Communications and minor in Women's Studies. More of her bookish reviews and K-pop Roundups can be found at The Arts STL.

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