Movie Review: Beautiful Creatures (AKA Beautiful Disaster)

Posted October 3, 2014 by Sophia

I feel like I need to get my graphics on. My movie reviews look so bland on the home page with no banner or anything.

I promise I’m in the process of making one. But… I have school. Essays (yay, literature! Sarcasm intended a bit.), Chemistry Science Fair (um… papers galore? And more essays), and the attempt to get an A in College Algebra. JUST so I could start college with a 4.0 GPA (currently with a fabulous B). Then I have Chess Club and possibly Scholar Bowl. I’m also extremely behind on comments.

My name is Sophia Lin and I’m a totally peachy Junior. (I so approve that message.)

Beautiful Creatures
Based on the novel by Kami Garcia + Margaret Stohl
Starring: Alden Ehrenreich, Alice Englert, Jeremy Irons, Viola Davis
Release Date: February 14, 2013
MPAA Rating: PG-13

Ethan longs to escape his small Southern town. He meets a mysterious new girl, Lena. Together, they uncover dark secrets about their respective families, their history and their town.

Oh boy. This is a Beautiful Disaster. A very beautiful disaster.

Let me start with the actors. Alden Ehrenreich looks too old to be playing a 15-16 year old. If I didn’t read the book I would have thought Ethan Wate is well… 20? That’s a 4 year jump from the book! His singing is also terrible enough to make me run under my blankets for cover – it was that bad. *cringe* In all honesty, it sounded like gibberish even with closed captioning, as though he didn’t know the lyrics. Or more accurately, as though he were an extremely amateur rock star jamming to a guitar uh, steering wheel.

No wonder my choir teacher tells us to sound “British” when it comes to singing.

Alice Englert really does look like “death eating a cracker” as Emily Asher (Zoey Deutch) says when she makes her first entrance as Lena Duchannes. I pretty much get used to her look later, so death eating a cracker isn’t too bothersome… Thing is, has Emily even seen death before? I mean, I imagine death as someone pale hidden under some hood – hahaha, Grimm Reaper – but unless you’re dead, you pretty much never see death. I do sort of get that it’s to show how mean Emily is… but I’m sure the director could have come up with something better than death simply eating a cracker. Death does NOT eat a cracker. It eats souls. I think.

Then there’s the blast to the past. It was… no. Just… NO. They have it all wrong if I remember correctly. Ethan Carter gets shot, Genevieve revives him but he doesn’t turn evil like the book says. Genevieve turns vampiric and just kills him instead! Doesn’t he turn into some sort of evil spawn which results in Genevieve killing him? >_< And why vampiric eyes? I’m a bit done with vampires. :p

There’s also Ethan’s death. The best part of the book was when Serafine killed him (I am not an evil spawn). Who killed him in the movie? Certainly not Serafine. Completely disappointing. Sure, it might be as violent as Ed’s eye getting poked out by a knife thanks to Peter in Divergent but while I sound like a toddler, can they at least let Serafine do the honors and not someone else? :/

Just because I didn’t finish the book doesn’t mean I didn’t skim to know details.

I think I only like a few parts to the movie, which only made it bearable, but not liked. Macon (Jeremy Irons) is perhaps my favorite – in the books I like another character, but I forgot who it was. Certainly not Ethan or Lena, I can assure you. Amma (Viola Davis), Link (Thomas Mann), and Riley (Emmy Rossum) were okay, but not exactly my favorites. I would actually like the librarian – Marian? – to be in the movie, but I suppose Amma would work instead. -_-

Half the time I wonder if a movie would be more successful if it simply followed the book – it wouldn’t be as confusing to those who watch the movie first and then read the book later.

Beautiful Creatures sucked as much as the book, and it lands as one of the worst movies I’ve ever watched. Not that there’s much.

Feedback Time!

This is my third attempt at movie reviewing. My first one was with The Great Gatsby. Thoughts on how I did with Beautiful Creatures and what I could improve on? I know it’s not exactly the most praising review. (Criticism welcomed. Just don’t insult me.) ^_^

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Sophia is a socially awkward Communications major who has a GIF for nearly everything and is frequently in a Hogwarts House Crisis. More of her bookish reviews can be found at The Arts STL.

Categories: General, Movies and TV
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