Bookwyrm Breakdown: The Rollercoaster of March + April 2024

Me saying that maybe I’ll be more active on the blog on the last wrap up and then very much being inactive right after: 🤡

In my defense, though, I was still coping. And Very Much Stressed because of the current job market, so I wasn’t exactly in the best mindset to blog or read. Also, because I might have to quit blogging if I find nothing, and I’d like to not think of that possibility. (ಥ﹏ಥ)

(Welcome to another edition of Depresso Espresso. One day, things will be better — manifesting! I know it’s not exactly May yet, but it’s close enough since it’s the last day of April, so if anything happens, I can always just push it to the next wrap-up.)

Recent Musings

• [5 Mar] Bookwyrm Breakdown: Happy (Late) New Year

Books Hoarded

For obvious reasons, I’m being careful about what I buy these days because books aren’t a need in these times of uncertainty. (This kind of reminds of a worksheet we did in personal finance during high school, and I was the only one who nailed it with flying colors which probably loudly announced to my entire class that I clearly grew up in poverty without actually announcing it. 🫠)

That being said, I’m also privileged to have access to one of the largest libraries in my state, so I have a lot of material available to me! (Libraries are Cool™, and mine added a program teaching you how to code in March. Support your local library if you have one!)

But I did get some surprise book mail from Entangled (Red Tower Books mostly, which was a shock, because I consider myself a relatively small book blogger just vibing these days) in April, one of which I was practically screeching in joy (internally).

• Heavenbreaker by Sara Wolf (ARC) – Sara Wolf is one of my favorites, so I was over the moon when I saw this in the mail! I’m super excited to start this [and share my thoughts].
• Five Broken Blades by Mai Corland (ARC) – I started this recently, and I’m enjoying this much more than I thought! I do think it’s dragging, though, but I’m still interested in pushing through.
• Wrath of the Talon by Sophie Kim (from publisher for blog tour) – I remember not being the biggest fan of the first book since it felt like a set-up novel and those tend to be hit or miss for me but I remember liking the banter between Lina and Rui a lot and overall enjoyed reading the book, so I’m very much interested in seeing what’s in store in the sequel!

(I think there was another surprise book mail somewhere but I think it got lost… rip book.)

Books Devoured

I started reading a little more often in March, which probably is a sign things are getting a tad better (mentally, definitely not financially) or maybe my brain decided to shut the trauma of a layoff in the very back to be brought up in therapy [that would never happen because I can’t afford it, so it’ll just go in the deep recesses of my journal]. Or I’ve fully processed it and it’s the next stage of job loss grief (if that’s even a thing).

• 21 Wall Street series by Lauren Layne – I’m back in my current comfort author! (Except at some point I’m going to run out of books from her to read and then I begin the cycle of finding another author’s backlist. Or I swing back into fantasy.)
• When Night Breaks by Janella Angeles – Finally, this book breaks free from the darkest depths of my Library Holds purgatory that I keep pushing back. I don’t even want to know how long this book’s been on there – at least a year (probably longer; I feel like it’s longer).
  • This turned out to be a disappointing sequel to Where Dreams Descend and at first I thought I wasn’t in the mood for fantasy, but everyone else who has a similar reading taste to mine that I talk to regularly all struggled with this book or DNF’ed it as well, so it’s probably not my reading mood.
    • I mean, it probably did play a part in deciding to drop the book at whatever percent I dropped it at vs pushing through until the end, but my feelings would remain the same. One would just have more extended thoughts.

April was sad in the reading department, though. But I did try to pick up a book near the end of the month (Five Broken Blades!) and while I didn’t finish a book or read every day, sometimes I read a page or two, and I think I consider that a win.

Hell, at one point I read nearly 100 pages, which I haven’t done in a hot minute, so I definitely consider that a win. Maybe I’ll actually read some of the books I started years ago and set aside! (Is kind of optimistic.)

In between job hunting (which is a full-time job tbh) and because I can’t be gaming all the time, I’ve been on the hunt for some quick shows to watch as a break when I don’t want to read. March and April had two animes that I finished/started.

• Mashle Season 1 and 2 – I started this at some point last year, but I didn’t get around to finishing Season 1 until recently, and then I went through Season 2 quickly not long after.
  • I have the theme song stuck in my head, send help.
• Delicious in Dungeon (ongoing) – not long after I finished Mashle, I was trying to decide what to watch next: an anime, a drama, or a movie. And then I stumbled across this one (or rather restumble since I added it weeks ago to my list and just forgot about it) and decided to start it because it was short and my brain could probably use short right now.

Thankfully, I’m not building up a huge watchlist on YouTube of music videos this time around 😅.

• sick by AleXa – Clo listened to this first and came running into my DMs talking about how good this was, so I immediately put this into my watch later playlist (it’ll probably get watched later, but layoff = some extra time to do personal housekeeping). I finally got the chance to watch this, and holy shit, this is a masterpiece.
  • Fair warning, the music video contains triggering content as it’s about a toxic and abusive relationship, so keep this in mind if you decide to watch it!
• I’ll Be There by Jay Chang
• Bling-Bang-Bang-Born by Creepy Nuts – I thought sick would be on loop because I love that song a lot, but nooo. It’s the Mashle theme song. It’s just so catchy.
• Midas Touch by Kiss of Life

The Breakdown

What catastrophes have the universe handed us throughout the month? Let’s find out. 🧐

March came with a bit of good news – I got a job offer for a temp to hire job! And so with all new jobs, that came with its own stress and anxiety [while the wound from my layoff was still essentially fresh, but one must push on because bills do not care]. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out by near the end of April, so it’s back to Unemployed Soph Era. I’m not the universe’s strongest warrior, and therefore am traumatized yet again. Just not as much as the first time around… (ಥ﹏ಥ)

(I’m so sorry to all of my close friends who I cried in the DMs of but also I’m so so grateful I have a support system now that I wish 12-year-old me had. I’d like to think she’d be proud of me now even if I think younger me in some ways was so much braver than I am as an adult now.)

Despite things not working out, though, I did learn about a super handy new tool I wish I knew about before I started the job (Win tbh)! I’ve been playing with a similar one lately and using it for blogging and personal use.

So the end of April was very similar to the end of February, only swap out Civilization 6 for Story of Animal Sprite, which is a merging game that a friend got on Christmas for me through Steam. It’s a relatively easy game, but it’s very cute and cozy and honestly perfect considering everything around me felt like it was on fire.

I also played a lot of Clicker Heroes and Cookie Clicker (or more like leaving that in the background running while I’m doing other tasks). There was a bit of Wizard101, but it was mostly gardening and doing daily tasks with the occasional farming for gold so I can collect cute pets. Kind of lost the nostalgia a little (mostly because I like to take a break before replaying the storyline), so I’m getting some gaming variety again! 🎊 But I’m also trying to not rot in gaming in between job hunting no matter how tempting it is.

TLDR: March and April were a bit of a rollercoaster and this wrap-up is a little depresso espresso, but I’m still alive, kicking, and fighting and maybe a little screaming (ง •̀_•́)ง.

Let’s talk: tell me what’s been happening with you all lately!