Bookwyrm Breakdown: Happy (Late) New Year

Was December really the last time I wrote a wrap-up? Feels like it’s been longer. The weather here in Missouri has bounced from cold to hot, but that’s Midwest for you. At least I’ve learned from the time I foolishly went to work without a jacket (it was 80F!) and then it snowed when I got out of classes, so I had to walk across campus to the car with short sleeves. 11/10 would not like to repeat.

February was a wild month to put it nicely, and with the life events throughout the past month, I’m probably just going to skip December and January completely because I frankly forgot what happened outside of the usual (or maybe February was just so significant enough that it overshadowed the other two months). 💀

Recent Musings

• [5 Dec] Bookwyrm Breakdown: I Got Bitten by the Nostalgia Bug Known as Wizard101 + Other Things that Happened Lately
• [23 Jan] Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros ★½
• [29 Feb] 2023 Book Blogging Stats Transparency: Sharing Stats + Personal Insights

Books Hoarded

No books made their way into my collection of books throughout the months (two wrap-ups in a row?!).

Books Devoured

I had a low reading month throughout all three months, but I did read one book for each month at least, so I consider it a win!

• December: Heartstopper Vol. 5 by Alice Oseman and Bookshops & Bonedust by Travis Baldree
• January: Check & Mate by Ali Hazelwood – I was nervous going into this one because I’m not the biggest fan of her adult books, but her YA debut? I enjoyed this a lot more than I expected.
• February: Love Story by Lauren Layne – Yes, yes, I’m back to read more Lauren Layne books. I’m trying my very best not to plow through all her books, but it’s hard, okay?

February gave me the time to catch up on some shows on my watchlist and music videos that have been sitting on my watch later list for a long time. I’m not even going to check how long, but it’s been at least a year or so. I started going through on the last day of February in the background while playing Civilization 6 and I’m not even halfway through — my god, how big was this list?

Movies and Shows

• Percy Jackson and the Olympians Season 1 – This was absolutely amazing, and I can’t wait for Season 2.
• Turning Red – I’ve been wanting to watch this for so long, but I didn’t actually do it until recently.
• Spy x Family Season 2 – Anya Forger, the best child. I would protect her.

Music

• Still Alive by Demi Lovato (from Scream VI)
• Sorry’s Never Enough by Corbyn
• Gayuma by Alamat
• Gabay by KZ Tandingan
• Fly Away by BXB
• Karma by Blackswan
• Wind and Wish by BTOB

The Breakdown

What catastrophes have the universe handed us throughout the month? Let’s find out. 🧐

December and January had little going on aside from going through the motions and focusing on self-care — consisting mostly of paying Wizard101 and maxing out a character, which I actually managed to do (finished in February) and will probably not do again. (I’ll probably start a new character, but I usually like taking my time.)

February, though. What a wild month, and the start of the Dragon year on the Lunar calendar for those who celebrate the Lunar New Year. I don’t even know where to begin with this past month, but I did think the month would be the same as the others, maybe even finally small steps toward recovering from burnout. At least, at first.

The universe: Hold my beer, do I have news for you, kid!

I got laid off mid-February, right at the start of the Lunar New Year. Layoff news isn’t fun for anyone, but being the sole provider in my household already living paycheck to paycheck, that’s rough. (At least it’s close to tax season…)

The bad news: it’s not a good sign to lose your job at the beginning of the Lunar New Year (according to my mom, because that was not the first thought running through my head; I was thinking about bills and rent and everything else someone who just lost their job thinks about). Queue internal screaming, because not only that, but my car failed a battery test the Friday before I found out, so I was already mildly stressing over that. (I’m sure I would’ve been fine, but anxiety is great.)

The good news (part 1): at least it wasn’t the first day. And at least I keep my resume mostly updated because I’m a paranoid child not so wised to the ways of Adulthood and the Corporate World, or I hope at least more than I was 5 years ago. (LinkedIn not so much, though.) Oh, and nothing’s wrong with the battery after all. You know, at least the universe saved my gas money and spared me the privacy of processing my emotions right away (aka crying).

The good news (part 2), or at least what some of my friends said in reassurance: the universe is holding out something much better for me, but first it’s going to give my life a forced, brief [commercial] break. I guess that’s one way to get a break, even if it’s not ideal at all. 🤣

“Okay, Soph, you got laid off. How are you feeling?”

Let me sum that up in a GIF:

Maybe not as dramatic as the anime, but I did have to process all of my feelings and the emotional rollercoaster I was going through for a good part of the week, and even for some time in the second week after. It’s traumatizing.

I listened to sad songs, cried in the DMs and texts of my close friends, grinded my ass through Wizard101 and maxed out a character (no thoughts, only questing! But it gave me something to do, even if it’s virtual), farmed for things and collected cute pets in said game, watched a couple of shows and a movie, and started to go through my watch later list. I also did things I planned on doing later, but got it over with sooner rather than later, and tried to process things by journaling way more than usual because therapy is expensive and while I’m sure it’ll be worth it, I can’t fork out the amount for a session when the future is uncertain.

To an extent, I’m still processing the news even while writing this wrap-up, but definitely not as much as the immediate aftermath, when self-care was 100% a priority. I’m doing okay, or at least as okay as one can be. If you were affected as well recently, I hope you know everything you’re feeling is completely valid, and that it’s okay to take as much time as you need (and can afford) to process and self-care. And hopefully, as reassurance from friends goes, getting laid off is a sign of better things to come soon. Most importantly, as isolating as it may feel, you’re not alone*.

*I genuinely debated talking about my feelings here in a wrap-up for fear of past/future employers stumbling across this, but if they’re looking, they’ll probably come across a cringe-fest of 15-year-old me as well. But we don’t talk about layoffs as much as we talk about promotions and other celebratory milestones, and I think it’s important we do talk about it and break any stigmas (at least within legal bounds! Don’t get yourself in legal trouble, omg.). Thank you for reading this tiny little TED Talk.

In the meantime, maybe I’ll be more active with blogging! And finish some books that I planned on reading before the end of 2023 but didn’t actually do (I finished one and started another). I even mustered up the energy to do my 2023 Book Blogging Stats Transparency! Although, I’ve been getting sucked away into playing Civilization 6 recently (I’ve found a new shiny game to play, lol), so that’s up for debate.

What a way to start a new year, though.

Let’s talk: how have you been lately?

I hope your life hasn’t been as eventful as mine, and if it is, hopefully they’re good events!