In the spirit of Valentine’s day, we’re talking about love clichés….which need to die.
Since February is basically the month of love in my mind, I figured I’d try and make my discussion posts have a theme of love. Now as we know, there are tons of tropes and clichés out there, ones I may want dead you may not. But that’s the fun of it… so let’s find out which clichés I want dead already.
Note: clichés here are phrases NOT to be confused with tropes like “enemies to lovers.” A love cliché would be, say, “heart skips a beat.”
If You Love Them, Let Them Go
Sure, I’ll just let go of the person I love, probably won’t ever see them again. It’s okay, though, I love them, they’ll come back to me. *blinks* No… no, they won’t. I don’t want this love cliché to die per se, I’d just really love it to be rephrased.
If you love them, let them be themselves.
This is how I’ve always viewed this cliché, it’s not about letting the person you love go, it’s more about letting them be themselves. If you love someone, you wouldn’t hold them back from what they want to do in life. Even if what they want to do happens to move them somewhere for their school/job/dream and you’re not able to go too. I’d hope you’d let them go if you loved them because you want them to follow their dreams, right?
It’s not about letting them go and expecting them to crawl back to you, asking to date you again. That version can get in the goddamn bin already.
You’ll Find Love When You Stop Looking
Bookwyrms, I stopped looking a long time ago. I just gave in ’cause wow, I don’t have the energy to look for someone. Also, I’d need to actually go outside into the real world for love to magically find me, and between you and me… I really don’t want to socialise to find love right now.
I stopped looking. No one’s appeared and suddenly fallen in love with me. *snorts*
I think the thing I take away from this cliché isn’t to just stop looking. Just go easy on yourself. Don’t put yourselves down over not finding someone; at the end of the day, love is great. But I’m a firm believer in needing to be able to love yourself before you can be in a relationship. No one can love you for yourself if you don’t love yourself. Since you’d just think they were saying they loved you, you’d not believe them.
Learning how to be you and figuring out what you want in life is so so important.
Books which have romance and relationships can often make us forget this; it’s like we need to be dating to be worth anything or to even function sometimes. We don’t. Stop looking for love from others and look for love inside. Can you love yourself? Can you follow your dreams and heart? Are you going to walk through the wilderness and make your own path? Along the way, you’ll probably find someone or figure out some other things.
This cliché… just don’t take it literally because wow, no one’s gonna randomly pop up to you and ask you out just because you stopped looking. (Although that’d be nice…but a little creepy to be honest)
It’ll Happen When It’s Time
I can’t even… the amount of times I’ve had to hear this said to me. I don’t know about you all, but I’m a salty single dragon and have been for over 2 years. My dating history is 1 guy, and I’ve never been kissed. But holy hellfire do I want to shriek when I get told this. “It’ll happen when it’s time?” Time for what? Huh, am I gonna be waiting until I’m on my deathbed to fall in love, see how unrealistic book relationships are to real ones.
*sniffs* I don’t think sitting in my room and typing away at blog posts away from the outside world is gonna help me find love.
Unless of course, we’re talking about fictional characters, which we weren’t since we all have a ton of fictional partners.
This cliché also plays heavily in my mind, into our own thought process of, “I need to wait for the right moment.”
What right moment are we all waiting for? There’s never going to be this sparkly, glittery right moment to do anything. We make this moment the right moment to chase after what we want. Or get that thing we’ve been meaning to do for ages done. Yet we have this cliché of waiting for this time to arrive where we suddenly fall in love.
Like… what are we expecting? Our ideal partner to appear from nowhere, fall for us and it is this beautiful love story where we have dates in quaint bookshops? Or instead of going out to a fancy restaurant we stay in, put on Netflix and binge watch all the film adaptations of books ever?
These three clichés are just…I’m over them already. I may still use them, and implement them but not literally, hehe.
So how do you interpret these clichés? Do you have any clichés you’re sick and tired of hearing/seeing?
She's also a Co-Founder of Bookend Events, a quarterly event with the aim to bring the bookish community, closer together.
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